Tonite I stay at home, just like all the other nights, except tonite I do something different, something I've wanted to do for many many years now. I write in my journal. I don't know why, but it's such a liberating experience for me, writing my words down and seeing them appear before me as I type. Other journals I've kept have been transcribed onto paper, something that disappears over time as it shrivels up and blows away. But here, perhaps my words will live forever.
I wonder if I'm doomed to end up like Anne Frank, hidden away up in somebody's attic, writing down my thoughts, hopes and dreams while the world goes mad around me. It certainly seems that way now. Ever since the Sept 11th terrorist (or was it?) attack, so many people out there fly flags in a naive display of patriotism. I turn away in disgust knowing what's been done in the name of that flag. I like the flag and what it originally stood for, but regarding what it stands for now, I am filled with nothing but disgust and revulsion. How could this happen that so many americans could be so easily misled? The answer: they're naught but 'sheeple', happily bleating as they're led off to slaughter. The most powerful country on the planet and it's ruled by greedy idiots and populated by stupid idiots. What irony. I hope that someday I will be able to move to a country where intelligence and wisdom are more than something to be despised and feared. I also hope that this country as it stands someday ends up as imperial Rome has. I believe that the U.S. certainly has it's Nero now. I just hope that when Rome burns, it's just the capitol and not the entire country. Perhaps then there will be some hope for this population to learn what it's been misled into, but also some humility as it realizes the crimes that have been commited and the scale of those crimes.
I hope instead that I'm able to escape from this country, perhaps to someplace like Germany, or perhaps even Austria or Czechoslovakia, in Prague. My, I can't believe all I've written here. For a first shot at a journal it's quite verbose.