Take me to the Promised Land (the long way)

At a time when many people complain that politicians are obsessed with spin, it's so refreshing to hear Israeli spokesmen, who refuse to make the slightest concession to PR whatsoever. Asked for their attitude towards the shooting of a baby by an Israeli soldier, instead of any waffle about regrets or needing to see the evidence, they'd say "What was the baby doing there? It was crawling in direct contravention of the curfew, it was shouting insults such as 'ber berder gabababab' at innocent civilians. Instead of accusing Israel of over-reacting, why don't you ask the dead baby whether it condemns suicide bombing?"

As they're fans of the Old Testament, they must wonder why the writers of the Bible didn't take a similar approach. So the story of David and Goliath would end with Goliath treading on every settlement in Judah, justified by a spokesman saying "Let me show you the young Philistine mother hit by a stone thrown by Mr David. And if the Lord wants us to withdraw our giants, why doesn't he condemn the use of slings and pebbles?"

Colin Powell could learn from this forthright approach. Attacked for taking so long to get to Israel, he could have said that if he was going all the way to the Middle East, it would be rude not to pop in on friends in nearby Morocco and make a week of it. Again, he was simply following Biblical tradition, as the original version tells of how Moses said to his people, "Follow me unto the Promised Land. But on the way we might as well stop off in Galilee to see Terry and Eileen. And if we're going to part the Red Sea, it would be silly not to stop for a day in the middle to look at the view and buy some souvenirs."